Rory's Day Out
by Seaborn W. Deadman
Summary: The Doctor's companions decide to have a girls' day out...and Amy drags poor Rory along too. Rory whump XD Either slight AU or ridiculously optimistically possible within the world of Doctor Who...? I keep messing with this one and getting new ideas after I say I'm done, but I think I'm really finished for sure now :)


_Vwoooorsshh vwooorrshhh vwoorrshhh. _It wasn't the real TARDIS; it was Amy's ringtone, too. She set down the bowl of cake batter she'd been mixing, retrieved her mobile from her pocket and held it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Heeeey Amy! It's Martha!"

"Martha, it's been forever! What's up?"

"Are you in the mood for an outing? Rose, Donna, Sarah Jane and I were planning on shopping and the pictures this weekend. Wanna come along?"

"Ooh, a girls's day out, sounds like fun, it's been awhile!" Amy said, licking some batter off the spoon before resuming her mixing.

"Great, we'll plan on it. Meet us up at say eleven on Saturday? I'll give you directions to the shopping center while you drive if you like."

"We'll be there," Amy promised.

"All right, catch you later," Martha laughed, and hung up the phone.

Rory, from his position at the kitchen table, frowned. "Ah, Amy. You said '_we'll' _be there. '_We'll'_ generally implies you and me."

"Problem?" Amy said cheerily.

"Amy, 'girl's day out.' What part of that just isn't clicking with you?"

"Yeah, so? I thought you liked shopping," Amy said, frowning.

"I do, but…"

"I thought you like spending time with me."

"I do, but that's sort of defeating the purpose of a girls' day out? And…"

Amy gasped melodramatically. "So you don't want to spend the weekend in London with me?"

"I do, but…"

Amy set down her bowl and folded her arms. "Rory, I thought you loved me more than this."

"Don't try to pull that one you used it last time, you know I love you," Rory sighed.

"Then why don't you want to go shopping and to the pictures with me?" Amy said, executing a perfect pout.

"I do. I don't, however, want to go shopping and to the pictures with Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, and…Donna Noble." He shuddered at the prospect.

"Sarah Jane is coming this time too." Amy added, leaning lazily against the counter. "Well, you need new underpants. And some more shirts wouldn't be out of order either."

"Remember last time?" Rory whined. "Donna tried to _kiss_ me."

"And I set her straight, as I'm sure you recall. Nobody messes with my husband or else," Amy said smugly, sitting beside Rory, and kissing him on the cheek. He tried very hard to remain looking grumpy, but to no avail. The power of Amy's lips was too great.

"_Girls' _day out," he reminded her in one last weak attempt to wiggle out.

"Yeah, well, you're my husband, that's different. In this scenario you count as a girl," Amy reasoned.

"Oh, thanks," Rory huffed, pouting, but Amy soon crushed that with her lips too. She stood, stooped, and continued her passionate attack on her husband's mouth. He tried to hold his own, but ended up just falling out of his chair.

"I hate you," he mumbled lovingly.

"Good, so you're coming then?" Amy said smugly.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

At eleven on Saturday, after the hour-and-a-half drive, Amy and Rory arrived at the shopping centre. It appeared that they were the last ones of the group to arrive. Amy offered hugs all around, Rory got them whether he liked it or not.

"Hellooooo, hottie!" Donna said when it was her turn.

"Hey, back off! My husband," Amy grinned.

"Sarah Jane couldn't make it, trouble with some Judoon. She's out with the Doctor today!" Martha explained casually.

"Trouble with some what now?" Donna snorted. "Doctor, who?"

"Nothing, Donna," everyone said at once.

"It's been way too long, Amy!" Rose enthused. "What's up? How's the husband?"

"Oh, just fine, he didn't really want to come but I made him anyway," Amy replied.

Rory sighed. _Hello. My name's Rory and I'm here too._

Donna interjected before any further chitchat could commence. "Oi! Let's catch up, but lets do it over some chips, I'm famished. I have followed my diet perfectly thus far today and I say it's way past time to kill it."

Rory tagged along a good three feet back as they headed to the food court, doing his best to tune out talk on diets and calories and bra sizes. He could already tell what sort of day this was going to be.

Rose, Martha, and Amy did get chips and vinegar, but Rory took the opportunity to treat himself to a cheeseburger from Burger King. So did Donna, and called herself an American.

"See, I never lie. Except about calories," she proclaimed, one of her favorite catchphrases, and laughed until she snorted.

Things didn't seem to be going too bad. Rory was completely comfortable joining in on the gals' catching up about family, the Doctor, and life in general. Of course, they had to be very careful about any Doctor-related talk with Donna around, so as to avoid making her head explode.

"So, how's little Pete doing, Rose?" asked Amy cheerfully. Pete was, of course, Rose's baby.

"Bigger all the time! He's got his dad's hair, luckily!" Rose laughed, getting her mobile out of her purse, locating a picture, and passing it around for everyone to see. Rory tried to get a look but had the phone quickly snatched from him by Donna, who walloped him over the head with her cheeseburger. After that he decided not to risk reentering the squealing girls' squabble over the camera phone.

"Yeah, definitely takes after the dad more. Look at him, so skinny. And all that thick brown hair, oh he's going to be gorgeous Rose!" Martha cooed. "Where is he now?"

"John's got him," Rose responded. "Taken him out for a spin in our TAR—car." Everyone glanced at Donna but she didn't seem to have noticed.

"Aw, how sweet!" Amy gushed.

"Yeah he's always so good when daddy's holding him. Greedy whiny little thing when I've got him though!" Rose said affectionately.

"Yeah, I don't think I've ever met your husband Rose," Donna said through a mouthful of cheeseburger. "What was his name again?"

"John Smith, Donna," everybody sighed.

"Well, you can't expect a woman to remember _everything_!" Donna huffed. Everyone did their best to hide their giggles, even Rory.

"No, we certainly can't," Amy said dryly. "Don't ever remember everything, Donna."

The girls debated over where to go next. Amy wanted to shop for shoes. Rose and Martha both wanted new purses. Donna wanted to go to the in-mall beauty salon, and being Donna, she managed to wear everybody else down, so the salon it was. Rory secretly didn't mind. He got a nice manicure, pedicure, facial, and a massage, and ended up having to wait quite awhile for the ladies to finish. He wasn't sure what could possibly be taking them so much longer, but sat and read a magazine while he waited.

The girls finally finished.

"Look at me, the Goddess Venus," Donna said batting her eyes putting her hands on her hips.

"No one could ever bring the goddess Venus out of that face," Martha teased. Rose gasped dramatically at the diss.

"Oi, I got bigger boobs than the lot of you put together!" Donna proclaimed smugly, making Rory blush. "So, what do you think, Rory? Hottie, or nottie?"

Rory blinked. "Um...well..."

She hit him with her purse.

The ladies all preened for Rory and wanted opinions all around, which of was bothersome and embarrassing, but finally that was all taken care of and they headed out to shop clothes. All the time, they kept alternating between teasing and pestering Rory and talking like he wasn't even there. It very quickly started to drive him bonkers, especially when they talked about him being "cute."

They dabbled around in Marks & Spencer, Debenhams, Sanderson & Grainger, and lots of small, vaguely affordable shops. But it wasn't to last. The girls didn't buy anything, and whisked Rory out before he could either. Rory felt a sense of impending dread as he followed his lady friends to the real reason they'd come to the mall; the shopping centre's massive Topshop loomed over them in all its ultra-fashionable glory. Rory was not pleased as they entered the large shop. This was not going to be easy on the paychecks.

Rory excused himself quickly to go to the men's department. It was a lovely break. He headed straight for the clearance and found himself some nice polos at whopping prices. And just to please Amy, he grabbed himself a few pairs of underwear and didn't even look at the price tags out of fear.

He was extremely irritated when he discovered that there were no fitting rooms in the men's department. He asked multiple personnel in case they were trying to torture him or were just clueless, but they all gave consistently the same answer; the only fitting rooms were in the women's department. He begged, he pleaded, he tried blackmail, but of course it couldn't change anything. Sucking in a deep breath, he made his way back to the women's side of the store. He might be lucky…perhaps none of the girls were using the fitting rooms right then…

Nope. Rory arrived and found all the rooms taken. One for Rose, one for Martha, one for Donna. It was extremely irritating. A shop as big as this one really should have more rooms. He made a mental note to complain to management. What sort of bastard builds a big brand name department store with just three bloody fitting rooms in the ladies' department and none in the men's section?

He wasn't about to stick around and wait his turn though. He'd learned from experience that bad things happened around fitting rooms and the girls. He tried to sneak away quietly but…

"Rory, is that you?" Amy called brightly, throwing her top over the door to the room she occupied to signify her position.

Wow, she was good. Rory wondered if she'd heard him breathing. _No, it isn't me. Leave me alone. _"Yes," he said grudgingly.

"Did you get some pants?"

Rose, Martha and Donna burst out into fits of giggles.

"_Yes_," Rory growled.

"Hang on, I'll be right out!" Amy informed him.

"In the meantime," Martha said, coming out of her dressing room carrying a frilly pink blouse and grinning impishly. "I wanted some help deciding if this is right for me."

"Kay, why don't you change in the dressing room and then show me?" Rory said, sensing impending danger.

"Nah, I wanted to see it on someone else to get a look from another perspective."

"Martha, please?" Rory begged. She made a pouty face that made him feel guilty, and he huffed. "Fine."

"Good!" Martha giggled, shoved him against the wall, and proceeded to take his shirt off and wrench the blouse over his head. Rory squirmed, but Martha's days in UNIT had made her arms pretty darn strong. It was a highly humiliating. He mentally debated calling for security, but he couldn't do that to Martha...

"All right girls, take a look!" She hooted. Rose and Amy peeked out from their respective rooms and guffawed at the sight of Rory in a tightly fitting pink blouse. He quickly slipped it off, snatched his own shirt from Martha and put it on.

"You didn't really need my help, you're just making fun of me!" he said, wounded.

"Oi, Rory!" Donna shouted unnecessarily loudly. As usual. "I want your opinion on this!"

Rory blanched. "No, no more! I will not wear anymore women's clothing today!" he shouted, and was immediately abashed. The whole store probably heard him. This made the ladies even more hysterical.

"No, I need you. I want to see what a MAN thinks of this."

Rory could've screamed out loud but decided it best to do that internally. "You know what? Fine Donna! I'll do whatever the HELL you all want with me!"

Donna kicked the stall door open dramatically, revealing she was wearing purple lingerie that showed off her cleavage and very curvy hips.

Rory blanched. "DONNA!" he squeaked.

Rose burst out of her respective changing room, similarly clad in lacy black. The girls preened and twerked and pretended to be Victoria's Secret models. Rory covered his eyes quickly with his hand. "Rose! You-are-married!"

Martha and Amy peeked out of their rooms to see what was going on. All the girls were now cackling with uncontrollable laughter, even Amy. That stung.

"I…I don't…I don't think I want the polos anymore," Rory mumbled, and feeling very much unsure what to do, he left the shop as quickly as he could without running, dropping the shirts and pants on his way out.

He plopped down on a sofa in the rest area outside the shop and massaged his temples.

This was exactly the sort of thing he had been afraid would happen. Something like this _always_ happened when Amy dragged him along with her girlfriends. And Amy was just as bad as the rest of them!

"Hey, are you crying?" came a familiar voice. Rory looked up…it couldn't be. It was.

None other than The Doctor stood over him, looking concerned and weighted down with shopping bags.

"No!" Rory said defensively. "But…wha…why…what are you…"

"Shopping, Rory!" the Doctor said excitedly, dropping all his bags. "You did think I wear this same coat all the time?"

"Actually, I did." Rory said.

"Well, all right, I do, I just found half a dozen more at a lovely little shop downstairs," the Doctor admitted happily. "But that's not all I'm here for. Gadgets, gizmos, doodads, you know. Household appliances. Home décor. Hardware. For the TARDIS."

"All right, all right, I got it!" Rory interrupted quickly. "But…I thought you were off with Sarah Jane."

"Hmmm, am I? Not this me. Past me. Or future me! What am I doing with Sarah Jane?"

"Something about Judoon…?"

"Ooh, future me then. That's something to look forward too, it's been awhile since I've seen good old Sarah Jane…" He stopped himself, and sat down beside Rory. "Hey, it's all right, what's the matter?"

"I don't think I will ever understand girls," Rory admitted.

The Doctor grimaced. "You won't. Trust me, two thousand years and I still don't."

"Martha organized a shopping trip with Amy and Rose and Donna," Rory explained.

"All of them together? That'll be trouble," the Doctor frowned.

"It is," Rory agreed fervently. "Amy always has to drag me along. And the girls think they can just push me around and tease me all they want. I'm such a doormat."

"You are not a doormat," the Doctor reassured him, putting a soothing arm around him. "You're the boy who waited, the last Centurion, world's best undisputed _best_ husband. I'd like to see any of them wait by a big box for two thousand years, or blow up a whole cyberfleet..."

"Okay, okay," Rory interrupted, smiling bashfully.

"You just need more confidence in yourself, stand up for yourself a bit more and they won't shove you around so badly," the Doctor promised. "I'd imagine Donna is particularly bad."

"Yeah," Rory scowled.

"Good old Donna. I miss her," the Doctor said nostalgically. "And Rose, too…"

"I'm not liking them much right now," Rory huffed. "Why do you have to pick your companions to be so…" he paused. He didn't want to say slutty, because they really weren't. They just liked picking on him. "I really shouldn't even be here. This is supposed to be a girls' day out. Apparently I'm one of the girls to them. Perfectly comfortable treating me just like they treat each other..."

The Doctor laughed. "Just means they love you, Rory."

Rory hadn't thought about it that way. "If you miss them all so much why don't you go and see them then?" he asked, puzzled. "They're right there."

"No, no. Too dangerous," the Doctor sighed. "If Donna remembers anything about me, she'll die. Rose is perfectly settled with…a different me. I don't want to get in the way. It would hurt her to have to choose between me or…him. Again. Martha just doesn't want to see me anymore. I hurt her, and she found a different man."

This made Rory think. "Doctor…do you think something awful will happen to Amy and I? Something that makes us not be able to travel with you anymore."

"No, never you!" The Doctor vowed. "Sorry the girls are giving you a hard time." He kissed Rory on the cheek and stood. Rory helped him gather his bags.

"Now, lets see if we can't get you out of here awhile," the Doctor said. "How long do you think the girls will be?"

"We were going to go to the cinema at six, then to dinner after," Rory said.

The Doctor checked his watch. "What do you say we go on an adventure, just you and me, and I'll bring you back in time to go to the cinema?"

Rory grinned. "Sounds like the first thing I've actually wanted to do all day."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A couple days later for Rory and a few hours later for the girls, they all met in front of the cinema. The girls were genuinely worried, which made Rory feel both touched and a little awkward. Did they really think he was that fragile?

"Rory Williams, don't you ever run off on me again!" Amy roared, and kissed him fiercely. "Did you cry?"

"No," Rory said, irked. Why did everyone think he'd been crying?

"We've been worried sick, hardly got any more shopping done we were looking all over for you…" Rose said breathlessly.

"Don't lie, yeah we did," Martha admitted. "But we _were_ worried…"

"I'm sorry mate!" Donna panted, and smacked him over the head with her handbag. "You know I was just messing, I didn't mean…"

"It's all right, calm down!" Rory reassured them all. "I just went off and did a little shopping on my own." It was the excuse he'd rehearsed with the Doctor, and the Doctor had given him one of his bags as evidence.

"You scared me half to death," Amy snapped, but couldn't stay angry for long. "So, what should we see?"

"I was thinking the one with the zombies," Rose suggested.

"Nah, yuck, lets watch the one with David Tennant in it…" Donna disagreed.

"I wanted to see the new Baz Luhrmann _Love's Labours Lost_," Martha enthused.

Later, in the darkened cinema, with Amy holding Rory's hand and leaning against her head on his shoulder, he thought maybe, just maybe, going on a girls' day out wasn't so bad after all…


End file.
